RIP Rock-Scissors-Paper

I shall miss you dearly.

It's official--I can no longer play rock-scissors-paper with my husband.

Those of you who know me may be assuming that this little revelation came to me because I LOSE when playing this game with Corey. Although completely well-founded, this assumption is altogether wrong, my FRIENDS.

I'm the world's GREATEST sport as long as I'm winning. It's when i start to lose that I get upset. I've been known to cheat a little (here and there) in order to stay ahead in the game. My theory is this: girls always win. If the girl is losing, then she's gotta do what she's gotta do in order to win. The husband should let the girl win but not let her know that he did so. I understand that this is unfair and selfish and that it labels me as a cheater. I don't care. Call me what you want. I'll call myself the World's Greatest Winner.

I know that when you are around someone for a substantial amount of time (especially when you are married to that person and are around them for 17 hours out of a 24 hour day) you tend to pick up on that person's thoughts / reactions. I'm sure this is totally normal. I typically CAN finish the ends of my closest friends' sentences and quite often actually do. Don't worry--they do this to me as well. Turnabout is fair play. (Yes, sometimes fairness does matter.)

Me being the Queen of Dorkiness and my husband being the King, we have a natural tendency to follow similar thought patterns anyway. We get a big kick out of it when we same the same thing at the same time or think each others' thoughts. This is not to mention the countless times that we hear someone say something and we bust out with the corresponding lyrics to some wacked-out 80's song that no one but us probably even remembers.

But this, my friends, is an all-time low. All enjoyment that I used to get from rock-scissors-paper has been lost. You can't really play this game if you have the same thoughts as your husband. It's like playing with yourself. (Clean thoughts here, ppl.) Yes, you never really lose. But you never really WIN either. It's so disheartening to me to think that we can no longer make a split decision based on this game because it in itself could take HOURS.

We even tried to "trick" each other. You know...try to break the normal thought pattern and just pull something CRAZY like doing rock instead of paper when you really wanted to do rock. It didn't work. We both tried to trick each other in the same way at the same time.

I suppose this means that we have to make decisions based upon logic, reason, and conclusion. Perhaps this is the last step in officially becoming a REAL grown up. I am fighting it every step of the way.

I still refuse to give up my blanket.