Note: This was written before we all realized that Grandma had alzheimer's. It's probably not as funny now as it was then. Who am I kidding...sure it is. THIS insanity had nothing to do with the disease. She's always been like this. The alzheimer's just "upped" the frequency.
My grandmother is really, really old. I'm not exactly sure how old she is, but I think she's aroung 95 years old.
Keep this in mind as you read this post.
Grandma is exactly 1/2 Scottish (paternal) and 1/2 French (maternal). About 20 years ago she began to read up on her Scottish ancestry/culture and has been obsessed ever since. She even became Episcopalian for this reason. ("All good Scots are Episcopalian," don't you know.)
(She ignores the French blood--she says the French are "uppity and crazy" and she does "not take after that side of the family" ...)
Her house looks like someone barfed up the family tartan in every corner. Plaid pillows, blankets, pictures, books, scarves...you name it; she has it and is proud of it. Keep in mind that the family tartan is RED AND FOREST GREEN.
One day not very long ago, Grandma decided to paint her living room.
She thought to herself, "How lovely it would be to paint it bubblegum blue and it will seem like I'm outside looking at the sky--even if I'm not."
So she did.
She got herself up on a ladder and began to paint her glorious sky. She painted the ceiling first and was content with her masterpiece so she decided to paint all of the walls and trim. That's when she fell and BROKE...HER...HIP.
After recovering from her hip replacement...Grandma still was longing for her living room to be finished. So she PROCEEDED TO GET UP WITH HER CANE AND FINISH PAINTING IT. She did this like three weeks after her surgery.
Oy.
In the end, she finished the job and is exceedingly proud of her blue Slush Puppy splattered living room. I get sea sick just thinking about it.
Maybe she isn't crazy--she's just dizzy from her living room.
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