Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Taking Offense to the Hat.


Tonight we were watching this weeks' episode of "Top Chef" when Corey started commenting on Spike's hat--not this exact hat, or course, but one similar. For some reason this kid and his hats really do bother my husband. There have been a few episodes of this show that Corey and I have have caught together. (We do not watch regularly.) Each and every time he's made little off-the-wall comments about Spike's hats. It's one of those things where typically I just roll my eyes around in my head and blow Corey's comments off as if I didn't hear it and / or care one way or the other about whatever it was he just said.


(Don't act like you all don't do that to your husbands at some time or another.)


However, tonight my dear, sweet hubby threw me off guard completely. He started in on how annoying Spike's hats were to him and I (without hesitation) started my typical routine with a genuine, long, drawn-out sigh when suddenly I am completely thrown off guard by the following comment that was sent spewing from this sweet man's lips:


"You know...he really is disgracing that hat." ...LOL


If you cannot find the humor in that...either:
1. You do not know my husband....or
2. You do not realize that my husband really is straight.


Yes, I realize that there are straight men with good style. Many of them are also metrosexuals. Which, again, my husband is not.

He just likes to give the hat it's well deserved honor and respect. All that I can say is that you truly must admire a man that insists on giving props to a good hat.

Testicles? Ow.

"Freeze!...or I'll kick you in the testicles!"

--Bones 6.10

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

One of a Kind You are, My Dear

My friend Christina is one of those rare people that truly understands me. In most instances, I can say six words to her and she is all, "I totally get it". Which, makes the following Christina quote completely unreasonable yet reasonable at the same time.

(That last statement is something probably only she, my husband, and a select few others will even understand. Which goes on to further prove my point.)

The quote of the day goes to you, my little Collected Catastrophe Part Deux.

"Yeah, I suppose I should get going, too. I have to go water my dead flowers that I bought today on clearance."

Somehow that statement completely encapsulates your personality...all six of you.
I'm COMPLETELY kidding. We all know there's only three. ROFL

I'll stop before she posts my Starbucks story.
I love ya galfand.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Did You Want Cheese on That?!

One day last week one day when we had absolutely no time (imagine that), we drove through a McDonald's drive thru for dinner. This is the McDonald's, mind you, that prides itself on their gourmet menu and "classy" environment. It is also of those that have the "double drive thru" intended for saving time and allowing more customers to go through the line.

We had already ordered and were waiting at the window to pay when we heard the guy behind us placing his order. He had to have been a regular to this particular McDonald's which was obvious by his overly-simplistic order.

"Thank you for stopping at McDonald's. How may I help you?" asked the cashier/drive-thru girl.

"Yes, we would like two double cheeseburgers and a McChicken, please."

"Okay. I have a double cheeseburger and two McChickens, correct?"

"Noooooooo..."(States the customer in a very slow, sing-song, talk-to-her-like-she's-in-preschool tone)

"That was TWO double cheeseburgers *insert pause* (allowing the cashier to comprehend) and ONE McChicken."

"Um...okay. Two double cheeseburgers and a McChicken."

"Yeeeees..." (insert long, loud sigh)



ROFL -- and imagine, it was even funnier in person.
As my husband and I tried to regain our composure, we pulled up to the window to see a teenager in ponytails and a giant ribbon. This didn't help matters. Those of you who know me KNOW how WELL I am at controlling my reactions and /or regaining my composure.

"Obviously you do not need to be well educated to work here," stated my husband.

I replied, "No, really? You know..they should post a notification on the sign in front when hiring that states, 'You really do not need to be smarter than a fifth grader to work here.' They would definitely get a bigger response."

Here's hoping the registers never break down and they actually have to COUNT CHANGE.